Sunday, January 30, 2005
my mind vs God's plans
sometimes i feel that i really think too much. yet, the subject that requires me to think alot - law - just turns me off. such an irony.
sometimes me thinking too much gets on people's nerves. sigh. i think its a bad habit i hafta try to get rid off. but alotta times, i just can't help but think abt things pertaining to the future. Who wouldn't like to know what will happen in future? maybe its juz all my insecurities coming into play again.
i must learn to let go. Learn to trust God, let Him lead. Have faith n follow.
Maybe i will fall, maybe i will be hurt. but He will sustain me. His grace is sufficient for me.
~~~ Angela 1:17 AM
Thursday, January 27, 2005
::disappointment-embarassment::
lost my last match yest. really shld haf won - know i've been saying this all the time, but its true. if we actually trained, we wld have won.
won the first round, deuce the second - lost, then lost the next 2 rounds. damn. was disappointed w myself, coz its the closest i was to winning.
then i really dunno y embarassing things always happen to me..... was empiring a SP-NUS match. the SP player smacked the ball. it flew outta the table, straight to my right temple. *piaakk!!!* so fast, i din even haf time to duck. the SP n TP supporters all laughed. the girl also laughed n was very apologetic.
think i was the only empire that got hit on the head by the players' ball. so embarassing.
~~~ Angela 11:18 AM
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
first victory
we won!!!!! smu table tennis girls team won our first match!!!!! =) hahaha!
and guess wat??
I, yes I, won my match! haha! why???? coz it was a walkover. we won the first 2 matches, then NP won the next 2, so mine was supposed to be the deciding match. but their last player didn't come. therefore, i "won"! =p yay!
this means that we most prob wont be last on the list. feel that that alone is a great feat. coz its the first time smu sent a girls team. plus the fact that we neither had a coach or trained at all.
=)
~~~ Angela 10:57 PM
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
losing
i've always been competitive. by nature. dun like to lose when i play games... sigh
but still... haf to keep telling myself that its ok to lose.
its normal to lose. its normal to lose. i've got nothing to lose. its normal to lose. its normal to lose. i've got nothing to lose. losing is normal. winning is abnormal. losing is normal. i've got nothing to lose.
haiz... nonetheless, would still like to win.
in my dreams rite? yah.... in my dreams
~~~ Angela 11:17 PM
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
keeping occupied
0900 - 1200 biz law mtg
1200 - 1330 lunch
1330 - 1530 prep for move to new campus presentation to smu staff
1530 - 1730 presentation, mtg
1730 - 2030 table tennis ivp
haven't been slping well. busy. tired. got trashed by nus team. my singles match: 3-0. 11:4, 11:5, 11:5. ha. would haf done better if i actually trained.
~~~ Angela 11:07 PM
Sunday, January 16, 2005
broken
sometimes i am so weak, its disgusting. only 15days into the new year and i've wept. i seriously dun like sobbing and weeping. my eyes are so swollen now, its a chore juz to keep them open. going out into the sun is worse. n i look like my whole face is swollen coz of my puny eyes. everything in me seems broken, feel so empty inside.
sigh. i really hope this year will get better soon. some frens are happier this year. eg Diana who's coping better now and Deedee who finally got accepted into his dream uni. =) i'm real happy for them.
as for me... i realised that the past really does come back to haunt you. especially regrets. and because of that, the future seems even more unclear. but i guess, this is where faith comes in.
"No one is complete until he has been out into the surge of the storm and has found the glorious fulfillment of the prayer 'O God, take me, break me, make me.'"
-Streams in the Desert, pg34
so it all boils down to a quote from a previous entry -- i'm still a work in progress.
~~~ Angela 1:15 PM
Thursday, January 13, 2005
What number are you?
| You Are the Helper |
2 You always put on a happy face and try to help those around you.
You're incredibly empathetic and care about everyone you know.
Able to see the good in others, you're thoughtful, warm, and sincere.
You connect with people who are charming and charismatic. |
http://www.blogthings.com/numberquiz.html
~~~ Angela 11:00 AM
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
What age do you act?
| You Are 19 Years Old |
Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.
13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.
20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.
30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!
40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax. |
http://www.blogthings.com/whatagequiz/
i'm not that childish after all, ok..... =p
~~~ Angela 4:13 PM
Sunday, January 09, 2005
my first double dating experience
never double dated when i was calvin. if i rem correctly, he din like the idea. so anyway, yest was my first! haha! me n feng with xiayi n hanzhong! actually we planned to go bowling, but cine's bowling alley wasn't there anymore, so decided to juz play pool.
i've NEVER played pool for sooo long b4. FOUR hours straight!! hahaha, we were all exhausted after that. but it was fun. switching partners, rules n thinking of new innovative ways to play. the last game was so challenging, we played for more than an hour.
hanzhong was much more at ease this time as compared to the first time i met him. his level of lameness n crap can almost match up to feng's. i'm glad it all turned out well n we din haf any moments of awkwardness, or at least i din. =)
we oredi decided. the next time we meet, we'll go bowling! =)
~~~ Angela 4:48 PM
Friday, January 07, 2005
my tv debut
sure enough, i did appear on tv. abt 20 seconds. haha! that's like 10 times more airtime than my first ever appearance back in 2002.
nope, i din look stunning. SIGH. din haf makeup on that day... looked very pale. must be the bad lighting. hhaha! n the angle which he was shooting did not make me look glam at all! oh well..... at least my DIY manicure looked nice when they zoomed in on me clapping my hands.
~~~ Angela 11:47 PM
Thursday, January 06, 2005
going downhill
everything seems to be going down, down, down. including me.
Finance - found the first lesson boring. =( maybe it'll get better??
BizLaw - law is
really not my cup of tea. the prof is an active chilli-padi (coz she's so small), n can really see her trying to make things interesting.... but well....... i'm still not very interested.
Finishing Touch - ok.......... but from all the bad reviews.... it wont be that good
Work & Family - i am dropping this.
International Econs - the prof's fun. the only really OK course this term
Managerial Accounting - Yucks.
MA was bad today. joyce, dot n i especially bidded for this prof's class coz he's an angmoh, n usually angmoh's are more easy-going, more lenient, u know that kinda thing. well apparently he is not. sigh. insisted that he assigns us our project groups. i mean, we bidded together so we can do project together n now this juz totally ruins our plans. joyce was rather pissed and debated with him abt it....... to cut a long story short, he has blacklisted the economics year 2 students who happened to all sit in one row at the back. the 4 guys and dot are dropping the course. i hate the hassle n uncertainty of bidding for another timeslot, so haf decided to stay. dunno if i'm gonna regret it tho... =( n since i'm staying, there's no point in joyce joining another class either, so we're both still in this together. sigh. can only hope that he wont bear a grudge against us. if u dun oredi know, i seriously think that biasness in profs in smu is rampant. =(
another bad thing. development of plans for the Move to new campus is going downhill as well. SO MANY problems are popping up, i'm getting very discouraged. everything is so uncertain. sigh. n i've always hated uncertainty.
still, i'm trying to keep positive. Keep positive.
~~~ Angela 11:35 PM
Monday, January 03, 2005
wishing for time to stop
arrrggghh!! can time juz stop?! please stop. i dun wanna go sch tmr. wait, its oredi tmr =( feel so sick. sigh. so unready n unprepared. first day of sch n i've got a mtg at 7pm. shittemate. finance @ 12, den bizlaw with no frens.... bleahz. so not looking fwd to studying again.
sigh. i must stop being childish n whiny.
~~~ Angela 1:04 AM
Saturday, January 01, 2005
the year I turn 21
it doesn't feel like a new year to me. feng n i were playing comp games when the clock past midnite. there was no countdown to watch due to the tsunami. everyday was rainy n gloomy. plus the fact that i was working today... it really din feel like a hol or new year. i'm not ready for school too!!!! haven even gotten a nice planner yet... sigh.
some things that happened today:
1) mama visited my shop today n managed to get a 30% discount from boss. haha!
2) smthg funny and embarassing happened while i was buying lunch. felt myself blushing (which is v unusual).... the guy at the eatery tried to ask for my number. haha! *shy*.... walked away hurriedly. hehe!
went back to my pushcart to eat n realised he gave me a huge huge portion. =) i juz love it when pple treat me nice.
3) deedee dropped by to visit me! =) was v happy to see him. told him that some guy asked for my phone number. his reply : "are u sure? u must be flattering urself." haiyohz! so mean!.... :
4) sighting of childhood fren whom i've lost contact with. made me think of yesterdays.
5) hsuyu's hp got stolen. am v upset too. think it was a planned theft by some bastards who were faking to be customers. we were juz not careful enough n too trusting. sigh.
overall... not a v good start to the new year.
~~~ Angela 11:59 PM
