Sunday, September 28, 2008
angela is feeling very discouraged. she wants to go back into her little bubble of all things being nice and beautiful, yet she doubts if that is ever possible. all she can do is hold on, just cling on, to the promise, to His promise that
"Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever." Psalm 23:6
despite her struggles, she is sure there is a greater one upholding her, and looks forward to catching that glimpse of silver lining....
~~~ Angela 12:09 AM
Friday, September 26, 2008
losing my cool at work
i was so freaking mad with my boss this afternoon, i had an outburst in his office. its accumulated i tell you, and i was so hopping mad, my brain couldn't function for quite awhile after that.
ooooohhhh, the injustice of it all. for him and his stupid decision, i had to lie. for him, i had to appear like an incompetent fool. who can blame me for getting so angry? when all the work that has to be done and submitted to HQ has been completed by ME, yet he was saying things like "pls understand that my team is very stretched" and i had to concur by saying i dunno when i can commit to finishing it. i was pissed beyond words.
after the conference call, i exclaimed that i have never told so many LIES in one day. before the stupid mtg, he said he will tell HQ i've completed it but he is still reviewing. NO! never once did he mention that. instead he only made me look so damn bad. and he still had the cheek to retort, "no la, not lying la". i gathered my huge files in a fit and stomped out, saying "i have a conscience. i'm very angry lehz".
he called me back and said, "i will deal with HQ on monday..."
watever, watever, WHATEVER LAH. i might just go straight to big boss first.
maybe i'm naive, maybe thats how businesses work. all i know right now is that, it is wrong. i can understand a lil creative accounting here and there, but not wat he is planning. if this goes on, thats it. just 9mths more and i'll be moving on.
is there no hope of having a good boss? first that hypocritical backstabbing b**** (whom fyi, i still hafta make small talk with) and now this inconsiderate, lazy, unethical bum.
if and when i become boss, wat kind will i be?.........
~~~ Angela 11:16 PM
Monday, September 22, 2008
just finished writing my testimony... basically a short story abt my conversion. but born into a christian family, where do i start rite? oh well, managed to churn our smthg nonetheless. a very compressed version of my life at best.
i shudder at the thought of strangers reading about me. but in the spirit of sharing, thats just how it is. maybe someone will select me to share during our year-end mission trip. i have no idea, i just did my part...... and thats all for now. i'm zonked out.
~~~ Angela 11:41 PM
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
patience is my best virtue?
just 3 months into the job and i have become a 师姐, with an intern 'reporting' to me. like (=.=)
cant believe that my boss can just 'throw' this young boy to me and i'm supposed to assign him stuff to do, coach him along etc. AT THE BUSIEST TIME OF THE YEAR!! its fiscal year close this month btw......
its the 2nd day at the job for him with both days just reading n reading. he must be bored stiff. but i cant do anything abt it, since boss brought him in at the absolutely wrong time. i told both of them straight in the face that i have so many things to do, i dunno whether i can attend to him. the intern is rather ok la... i check on him from time to time and spent some time gg through my dept's and company's org structure n businesses with him (which my boss nv did and i doubt he even knows...) , so that he has somethings to write for his journal today. heh =P even took it upon myself to take him out for lunch yest. he's cute, rather fair, almond shaped face, and big round eyes. but not my type, basically bcoz he is kinda slow..... intelligence, a sharp mind and sense of humor really does it for me. but at least he's cute. =) so i shall have more patience with him.
in case its not explicit enough... i'm getting more n more frustrated with my boss - his attitude and how he handles things. but since i cant change him, i can only make do and find ways to cope with it. many days its really a test of my patience. i'm definitely on good training grounds.
~~~ Angela 9:46 PM
Monday, September 08, 2008
Audi coveter
where is my audi TT roadster convertible when i need it?
nahz, such a sleek silver is not me. imagine it in candy blue or metallic pink (i haven't decided), that will totally be my baby.
taking a drive with the windows down and music loud, soothes me... a chance to be lost in my own tots........ but a nissan latio simply doesn't satisfy.
time to look for a sugar daddy. and just cruise................
~~~ Angela 11:21 PM
Saturday, September 06, 2008
back, full circle...
easy - life's not that. yet, it is so easy to lose yourself. so easy to just go with the flow, so easy to occupy yourself with just anything, so easy to forget, so easy to lose sight, so easy to fall, so easy to let go.
everything evolves, everything changes. i'm so thankful my God is the same, yesterday, today, and for all eternity. i've was feeling rather dissatisfied with life, with Him, with everything. but how could i for long? when i remember the cross.
life is good! the world is beautiful! if only his people, if only i, weren't so worldly. and its back to square one. All we need is Jesus. i remember abt this time a year ago, i was struggling with the exact same thing. funny how it all comes back. sometimes we think it'll get easier with time, apparently not so... that's why it is just so easy to be blinded by wat is seen when the unseen is obviously wat matters.
~~~ Angela 5:45 PM
