Friday, June 22, 2007

my sucky 23rd

i dont remember a single bday that was worst than today's.

the only one that came slightly close was my 15th. the entire june hols was filled with table tennis trainings, church stuff n assignments. n i was really hoping for a rest n smthg special on my bday. but yet another training fell on my bday n i had to be present n set a good eg, being VP n all. so i went for training as per normal n tot that my teammates will prob present me with a card or at least smthg after training. but no, nothing. nobody remembered. like, can u imagine??? we were a small team, just 7 of us in my batch! n nobody remembered.... sigh, n i was training with these pple 3 times every week. so u can imagine how upset i was.

but thankfully, i haf a marvelous mum who picked me up after training n surprised me with a bouquet of 15 fresh tulips which totally cheered me up.

from that experience, i learnt NEVER to expect anything from frens on my bday - whether best frens, close frens or just ordinary frens. bcoz without expectations, i wont get hurt or upset.

as with the past years, i didn't expect frens to remember my bday. more significantly, i didn't expect feng to wanna wish me happy bday. but he did more than that. he left presents at my gate - a christian book, hairclip n necklace. in fact, its the most thoughtful present i've ever received from him. i was at home all along n he only msged me abt the present after he left.

me: thank you, you shouldn't have. i'm sorry.
him: dun be sorry. you made the right decision. goodbye.

i wept uncontrollably. n am still doing the same as i'm writing this now.

altho i was the one who broke up with him, it izzant easy on my part too. i've been trying really hard to be strong n cheery, but the truth is i am so not.

unlike him who encouraged his frens to intro cute gals to him on his blog today, i'm gonna say: pls dun intro cute guys to me. i'm not ready. please, as my fren, just talk to me whenever u see me online, call me to chat, email me, date me. i'll really appreciate it. its not everyday i ask for help n i'm learning to be not afraid to.

thanks to all frens who remembered my birthday today, u know who u are. hugz.

i'll be better tmr n the day after n beyond.


~~~ Angela 12:17 AM