Tuesday, September 25, 2007
a part of me wished i didn't hafta return home bcoz i think days abroad, due to all the distractions and challenges, will somehow always be more exciting, happy and enjoyable. life back home and work is boring, and i'm still exhausted, still not used to working life and hours. i've got a problem - my supervisor's soft and really sweet voice always puts me to sleep although i'm sitting just next to her as she teaches us about credit management, productivity gaps etc. oh well, think its a skill to learn too? to not fall aslp at work or appear not alsp.
i'm troubled, despite being still quite high from the trip. its like i've learnt to compartmentalise different parts of me and my emotions........ n take them out only at appropriate times, ie separate work and personal life.
feng is still not better. i'm not sure how i can help him or if he wans/needs my help anyway. he msned me the very first nite i was back in sg.... n made me cry. its not his fault.
nothing is. i realised my heart is so soft now, countless of things make me cry. think i'm beginning to be the real crybaby i really am bcoz somehow, i'm no longer afraid of wat ppl think of me when i tear coz its really none of their biz...... i think he is still holding on to alot of our memories together... but there's nothing much i can do as well to help or encourage him. SIGH....... sometimes i think i'll remain a spinster after this relationship, bcoz i feel not many guys can match up to feng. its rare to find someone who accepts and loves u the way u are aint it? sigh. life is one tough road. but take heart! for Christ has overcomed the world and is with me. He has oredi prepared n planned everything. Having HOPE and placing it all in Jesus, is the most important thing in my temporal life, i've realised and believe.
~~~ Angela 11:46 PM
