my mind is at a blank as to wat to write despite my heart being in emotional turmoil.

i'm so glad that at the end of the day, in between, at the beginning, constantly, all the time, i have God to fall back on. i am sure that if i didn't believe, i would have taken my own life by now.

read in the papers this morn abt the 5 dragon boaters who drowned in cambodia. its so unfortunate and sad - promising young men..... their families must be devastated.

my best fren, a dragon boater, is v affected. and i'm sad bcoz of that. i dun haf many words of comfort to express...... listening and praying are all i can offer. i hope that that is enough.....

witnessed a very drama case of suicide at taka departmental store just now when i was bringing my foreign colleagues around (they're here for the next 3 weeks). at first i tot it was just a couple's quarrel getting abit outta hand. then it got really rough with the woman screaming and trying to climb and jump off the rail, and the guy struggling to hold her down. i looked ard for cameras thinking that it must be for some show... then i realised that she had slashed her wrist and quite alot of blood was splattering out. a crowd has gathered and many were calling ambulance/cops/watever, i dunno. the rather useless security was just walkie-talkie-ing others to come and help. he only went fwd to help when the bf (i assume) had managed to push the woman to the ground.

for the first time in my life, i felt ashamed being singaporean. a vietnamese colleauge who's a kind and helpful girl wanted to go forth to help and was asking me why izzant anyone helping her? i din know wat to say. i had to hold her back in case she really went up and got herself hurt in the struggle. sigh..... the bystander's phenomenon is so scary and ugly. i'm ashamed of myself too.

for the past week, i was feeling anxious, doubtful and allowing my mind to wander, engaging in self-pity and all the silly tots abt how unfair life is. how silly.

today, i am reminded that feelings dun matter. mental toughness is wat i need. - Build me up Lord and anchor me in Your word.

God created us to enjoy his beautiful creations. God created us to be happy. Amen. Thank you patrick for this reminder. i choose cheerfulness, i choose happiness, i choose joy, i choose faith, i choose trust, i choose rest.

~~~ Angela 12:24 AM

About Me

The KING's princess
made to worship
wants to be like a fresh lily in a secluded valley by the crystal stream

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