work issues

have alot of things on my mind - about work, about my personality, about networking, about the near future........ sigh.... so many things to think about.

yest nite, my dept had a farewell dinner for an intern and after that, my boss forced everyone to go her house for some karaoke. hmm... maybe only i felt forced coz i really din wanna go...... but i couldn't think of or bring myself to lie about some non-existent reason not to go, so i had no choice but to tag along. in the end, the session ended only at 11pm. n i had to take a $11 cab ride back home when i could haf taken a $2 bus ride home fr suntec after dinner. sigh, i'm becoming rather calculative i know, but it really cant be helped.... my money is meant for other uses.

today, one of my frens in the capap program asked me to buy a coach tix for her to KL. hmm... i'm abit uncomfortable with saying that she's a "fren" too.... i dun consider pple a fren so easily. anyway, i was rather pissed bcoz i and bel were only organising a trip to malacca for everyone. if u wanna go some other destination, then so be it. i'm not ur travel agent! her mail to me was very instructive - "i wanna go on sat morn, return on sun nite. how long is it to KL? where's the drop off point? how much izzit?" aiyohz... please at least do some research b4 asking me rite?? aiyohz....., anyway. i was quite disappointed with myself bcoz i had to take a whole 5min b4 i could stop being pissed and affected by the mail. so lousy rite? i really shouldn't be letting things get to me so easily at work.

i think to be successful at work, there's really a need to not show ur true feelings or let others read you so easily. but still, i feel its so meaningless to put on a front all the time! i'm facing some issues at work.... its rather obvious that my boss favors bel more than me. simply bcoz she's the loud, animated and bubbly one while i'm the reserved and quiet one. i'm thinking if there is a need to change and whether i'm willing to change at all or the extent to which i'm willing to change. in many ways, i'll need to accomodate to my boss' style but to wat extent? where shld the line be drawn? i used to believe that it doesn't matter, as long as i prove to boss that i'm a capable worker.... but the truth is sometimes, that just izzant enough. sigh, so tricky.

i'm very happy being me. reserved and quiet suits me fine. i dun enjoy networking. i dun like crowds. i'm not the life of the party. i prefer small intimate groups, knowing people for more than just the hi-n-bye or useless pleasantries.

but i need to sort my tots out n reach some sort of balance and peace. since the last thing i wanna become is a fake and act-cute person.

~~~ Angela 11:23 PM

About Me

The KING's princess
made to worship
wants to be like a fresh lily in a secluded valley by the crystal stream

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