Wednesday, February 20, 2008
onwards..... with life
i keep my autograph books well. i mean, such are things most of us tuck away safe in some drawer and sometimes when we stumble upon them again, they become a source of warmth and much reminiscing and without fail, i'll always smile at wat my frens wrote. amongst the many entries in my NY autograph book abt my crazy love for the colour orange, my cheerfulness and unexpected maturity despite my kiddish fancies, this one written by rong'er really stood out: "i guess you are someone who 拿得起又放得下。"
i remember thinking, why did she say that? and realised eventually that it is true. i was able to float ard, being in one clique for some time and then move on to be closer with another and so on when at that age, most pple just haf one close grp of frens and stay that way.
altho i acknowledge that trait, i wished i was even more so and more 潇洒, bcoz people can change in a blink of an eye and i shouldn't be shock at all since my entire life's circumstances is as it is today due to such a change.. sigh..... the struggle between retaining vulnerability and guarding your heart. hard aint it?.........
moving on becomes such an integral part of life as we journey onward... then again, its the only way we can isn't it? oh well.
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basically, i haven't been feeling too good lately. many reasons la, altho i try to contribute it mostly to anxiety from the upcoming one month long bangladesh trip, i know otherwise. ultimately, i havent been trusting God enough in too many areas.
alot of mixed emotions. worries abt the trip, future in siemens, mummy's health, mine there in bangladesh (esp without any vaccines). feelings abt the impending goodbyes with my capap frens, abt a colleague's husband abt to be removed from the life support system after a sudden brain stroke, how i shld deal with things at work, etc etc etc.... sheesh.
please pray for me k? i need to be all geared up for the trip with the right positive attitude =) n all ready to mug like hell n come in tops. damn, i really do think and stress too much sometimes.
~~~ Angela 9:29 PM
