Friday, May 23, 2008
Giving meaning
DAMN! i'm too emotional tonite.... something has come over me n i dunno wat.
there's so much internal struggles and things i cant draw a conclusion to in within myself. i'm not confused, but just need some direction to know wat to feel wat to do how to react. sigh, that sounds so wrong...... maybe i am confused. =( =( =( i wanna be perfect, be goood in the least, but am finding it soo hard to die to self n knowing where to draw the line btw being a fighter and being contented.
i wonder why soooo many filthy rich people can splurge on ridiculous excessities without feeling anything while here i am reproaching myself and feeling bad just coz i spent on expensive Vpower petrol as i enjoy the speed it brings...... sigh.
i've been reading this cute prayer / prose book, watever u call it. many resonated with me, but this particular one has left me thinking......... i guess i'm still in the process of creating meanings.
"We search and we search and yet find no meaning.
The search for meaning leads to despair.
And when we are broken the heart finds its moment
To fly and to feel and to work as it will
Through the darkness and mystery and wild contradiction.
For this is its freedom, its need and its calling;
This is its magic, its strength and its knowing.
To heal and make meaning while we walk or lie dreaming;
To give birth to love within our surrender;
To mother our faith, our spirit and yearning;
While we stumble in darkness the heart makes our meaning
And offers it into our life and creation
That we may give meaning to life and creation
For we only give meaning; we do not find meaning
The thing we can't find is the thing we shall give.
To make love complete and to honor creation.
Amen."
-When I talk to you, A cartoonist talks to God. by Michael Leunig.
~~~ Angela 12:16 AM
